I tell Wicks I’m not real and he pokes me with the end of his pencil the way a child might molest a dead thing. He smiles, satisfied, and pokes me again. I can see the lines of vintage dentistry running across his two front teeth, the consequence of some past violence. I try to imagine installing their absence myself. Wicks watches me thinking and asks me to elaborate. There’s a mortar and pestle feeling to our conversations that leave me feeling purposelessly milled, when I tell him this he shakes his head and asks me what I need.
Nic Addenbrooke is a freelance writer, editor, content creator, radio broadcaster, part-time poet and sometimes artist. Nic has been coming to terms with existence for years. He currently lives and works in Brisbane where he struggles to turn the cacophony of voices in his head into things of substance. It doesn’t always work but occasionally produces a nice veneer of sanity.
27/08/2012 at 13:38
Interesting piece, I would read further to find out what they’re talking about. I believe if you added the dialogue to the last few lines it might read a bit better. As in, you have, Wick watches me thinking and asks me to elaborate. Try,
Wick watches me thinking.
“What are you thinking about,” Wick asks.
Just a suggestion, as I said, I would read further to find out what they’re talking about. Thanks for sharing.
27/08/2012 at 13:55
Thanks Doug, I appreciate the input. The paragraph pieces I’ve been doing, such as this one, have a sort of self imposed formula that tends to exclude traditional dialogue. I’m glad you are interested in its continuation though, I suppose that means I’m doing something right, maybe I’ll go ahead and give Wicks more space to have his say in the future.
27/08/2012 at 21:37
I think the name alone makes Wicks and interesting character. Like I said, the piece stands as is and does make the reader care about what happens next. Good job.:)
28/08/2012 at 17:08
I don’t actually like the character, but maybe that’s what makes him interesting. Thanks again.
28/08/2012 at 13:17
Ah the mortar and pestle feeling! I know that one.
To me it is like you can take a situation, put it through a fancy detail-sifter, and keep only the little nuggets of pure gold that paint the clearest picture of what the situation is. It is so magical to read.
28/08/2012 at 17:08
Wow, that’s really sweet. Thanks Jennifer