There’s a thing called an upper decker. It’s where you leave a shit in someone’s toilet cistern so that it will rot. Every flush will only bring the passing of decay. This is a terrible and confusing thing. I had it done to Cleo once, by a boy named Chip, of all damned things. I’d found him at the markets three days before and let him follow me home, as long he slept at the foot of the bed and promised not to bite. After I got him housebroken I didn’t see the point, so I put him down.

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