Right after I cum I’m rolling a cigarette, wondering if I got anything on my hands, and I think about jumping out the window. Five stories down and that would be it, hopefully some beautiful nothing. Game over and put down the quarters, I’m not playing anymore. Sasha told me she thinks about doing it all the time, only that something always holds her back. I told her it was hope. There’s just enough good shit that happens to make you think that life could have more good shit. Hope is a lie that you wish would come true.